MY twin story Part 3: Life since the twins!

This is the most recent of the twins at 3.5 years.

BA spent the next 19 days in the NICU. She was gaining weight, eating good, and had very little problems. They probably only kept her there that long to keep her with her brother. She spent a little time on CPAP, but for the most part, made improvements everyday.

BB, well he was another story entirely. It was like two steps forward and one step back with him. He spent the majority of his time there on CPAP once they removed his breathing tube. His umbilical cord lines that intravenously gave him medication and fluids, wore out and he have to have a surgical procedure where they insert a mainline into an artery in his neck. He still has the scars from that. He got a rotovirus and that set him back in his bottle feedings and breathing. He had the worst case of the two of jaundice and had to spend several days in the light chamber. The doctors botched his first circumcision so much so that he lost enough blood that he had to have a blood transfusion and a second circumcision. He was always hooked up to monitor and wires and alarms that went off constantly because his breathing and heart rate would slow when he was sleeping. It was not a good time for him or us.

I spent everyday up there, including Thanksgiving where my husband and I had our Thanksgiving dinner that year in the hospital cafeteria by ourselves. I did not see CJ for those three weeks. He lived with my mom. I did not see much of anyone for those three weeks except for the nurse in the NICU. I pumped breast milk constantly so the twins could get that much even though they had to take it in through a tube in their nose. I tried to get them to breast feed, but they were just too small.

I think the doctors realized that they could not keep BA any longer just for BB's sake, so they sent her home with the promise that BB could go home the next day. I can't describe the pain of leaving a baby behind in the hospital. To say it was bittersweet would be an understatement. So, the next day we show up with baby carrier in hand ready to take him home. No luck, he had been having spells of lowered heartrates and oxygen saturation. Once again, we turned our backs to our son and left that hospital without our baby. It was unlike any pain in my heart and soul that I have never felt before or since. I called the next day and explained to the doctors that I could NOT leave that hospital again without my son and asked them to please be certain that we could take him home before I made the trek back. They were sure, so we did, and he finally got to come home. Our complete family in our new home, it was a relief, for a moment.

They came home on heart rate monitors, which they sported for the next 3 months. They had medications for reflux and heart rate drops. They had doctors appointments and weigh-ins every week and RSV shots every other. I could only sleep in 2 hour increments due to the pumping and feeding. So I was a walking zombie. The sleep deprivation was the worst. I thought I would go insane, actually I believe I was for a few months. I remember at one point thinking, "if I killed myself, then I could rest for longer than two hours." It was only the sleep deprivation talking. I never felt that way before or since.

CJ was did not always make things easier. His jealousy grew everyday. He would bite their fingers and do other things to make them cry. He actually still does this today, only difference is that they can fight back now. However, having my mom four miles down the road and friends around did make things MUCH easier. I really miss that now.

The twins slept in a crib next to us for the first two months. Then they slept in the same crib in a room across the house, with baby monitor close by at all times. They did this until they were six months old. They would kick, move and wake each other up so we put them in cribs that were side by side. I would often find them with their hands through the bars touching when they were asleep. And when they could pull up, I would find them standing face to face or hugging over the bars. TOO SWEET!! There are many moments that make it all worth it, these were just a couple of those moments. They stayed in the same room until they were 18 months old. Then I separated them into their own rooms. CJ always had his own room across the hall.

They had reflux from the day I brought them home. That is when a child has projectile vomiting after they eat. Not spitting up, but projecting. I was sleep deprived because I was working very hard to pump this all important milk and feed it to them, only to hear it hit the floor behind me as soon as they were finished eating as I burped them. It was SO frustrating to say the least. They were growing and thriving though. The doctors assured me it was just a "laundry issue" and they would grow out of it by the time they were one. A WHOLE YEAR OF THIS, ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! JUST A LAUNDRY ISSUE, WHAT?!?!?!?

Of course, he was right. They would puke (as I would affectionately call it), I would have to change their clothes, my clothes and clean up the furniture and/or carpet where it landed. Bibs were my friends and I had a ton of them. Not the little spit bibs, no, but the full body armor ones. The puking was not soooooo bad when it was milk they were projecting, but when they began to eat peas, carrots, applesauce, etc., that was when it really became an issue. Now my beige carpet was polka dotted with a rainbow of colors. During months 1-3, it happened every meal and even in between. During months 3-6, about 4 times a day each. During month's 6-9, about once a day each. And during months 9-12, it had tapered off to about every other day, then it ended. HALLEUJAH!!!! When we were certain it was over, we pulled up the carpet and put down pergo.

It was not long after we got them settled into their own rooms and got some other home remodeling done that DS, my husband came to me with some news. He had been traveling for a while and being a single parent was hard on me and the kids. He said he had been offered a job in DC. First response, "I will NEVER leave TEXAS!!!" He said it would mean a chance for fast advancement in an office where he was liked and with people for whom he actually enjoyed their company. His current office sucked-ass! He had actually been fired by one boss and then re-hired by another two weeks later at one point. It was not a good environment, hence the desire to travel. His new boss in the DC office was great and wanted me to come check it out. Long story short: I did, decided I could tolerate it especially if it meant having my husband home at night (ha ha!), and on the twins 2nd birthday, we were moving into our new, MUCH older, MUCH smaller house in Alexandria, VA.

So here we are, almost two years and counting. We plan to go home someday, but make the best of what we have while we are here. Aside from being so far from our family and support system, this is a GREAT place to raise kids. We are never without something to do with them. That part of living here is great. So are our new friends, DS's co-workers, the ARL, and FCMOM friends. We could not have made it if not for all of them! Thanks, you know who you are...wink, wink! ; )