Joke Emails: Love 'em or Hate 'em

I usually just pass on joke emails that I think are funny and worthy of passing on, this one I felt was worthy of sharing on my blog. I have not done this before, but this really made me laugh and think. Yes, I know, I am one of those rare breed of people who actually ENJOY joke emails. Some people curse people like me. But, I love that my friends care enough to want to make me smile at some point during my day. And I enjoy returning the favor when possible. Perhaps I will change my mind when I have a "real" job and don't just sit around eating Bon-Bons all day (as all stay-at-home-moms do). ; )

So here it is:

19 THINGS THAT TOOK ME ALMOST 50 YEARS TO LEARN

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. Assuming there is a God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, if he decides to deliver a message to humanity, he WILL NOT use, as his messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hair style.

6. You should not confuse your career with your life.

7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

10. Never lick a steak knife.

11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.

12. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

16. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

19. Your friends love you anyway.

Dog-isms

Introducing the newest member of our family, Belle!!! We adopted her when we were in Texas. She is perfect in every way (well almost). Below, she poses with her siblings.

Soooo CUTE!!!



















Dog-isms
(Some "lessons to live by" inspired by the very special dogs in my life.)

- Find a way to lick your OWN wounds.

- If you have an itch, scratch it, no matter where you are or what your doing.

- Sleep when you can, roam when you can, play when you can, fight when you must.

- Showing your love everyday with affectionate actions speaks louder than saying it with actual words.

- No matter how long it is, if you stay at the end of your leash, you will always be choked.

- Establish a dominant stance when possible, but be submissive when necessary.

- Appearing confident can be your best protection when strangers are near.

- Wake up your family with a kiss on the face every morning.

Charmed

(Deep Voiced Announcer) - This Tender Moment is brought to you today by Caasmom's review of her journals and organization of a few hundred photos.
________________________________________________________

Someone once told me I have had a charmed life. For this and more, I will keep this person in a special place in my heart forever for giving me the gift of that compliment.

It was more than just an observation, it is a thought that I revisit when I am feeling that my life, well, sucks. I AM truly blessed and have had lots of luck throughout my life. There have been some insignificant and some fairly life altering events that seem to have been touch by this charmed aura that luckily surrounds me. (::knocks on wood::)

I revisit this thought today once again as a look back on the pictures of my children, stories of my life, events that have taken place, friends that have graced my life and I realize how true it is. I write this blog because I truly feel it is important to recognize and give thanks for our blessings on a daily (sometimes hourly when necessary) basis.

I only hope that all of this is somehow connected to genetics and has been passed on to my precious angels.

Halloween 2005

As requested, Halloween pictures.

I think I like these better than the school pics. (hehe, JK)

All three spooky kids.

The Thing from Fantastic Four (CJ)

Princess BA with Matilda (her Build a Bear)

(BB) Being Batman is a very serious job.

Friends Halloween get together.

Yes, that is me, ugh!

The Boys School Pictures

There is really nothing I can say, a picture is worth a thousand words, right?!?!

Mommy Brain

Please try to not judge my blogs too harshly before reading this entry. I am not a dim woman. I am very well educated, socially capable, and can easily exhibit common sense when making decisions. On a daily basis, I seem to have it all together.

But with the incessant feeding of children's television programming and movies into my brain, talking to pre-schoolers the majority of my time, and doing it all pretty much on my own, I AM LOSING MY MIND!!!! It is true, the old adage, if you don't use it, you lose it. I can literally feel my brain melting away, cells disappearing, waves going still. I feel so dumb sometimes. I call it "mommy brain".

I apparently can be easily influenced which was obvious when I informed my husband the other day that I was "going potty" when he called for me from the other room. He quickly pointed out that it was not necessary to use polite kiddy language with him. It was embarrassing because I began to wonder when I have spoke to other adults like a child. I know I am not the only mom who feels this way, it just seems like it sometimes. However I think most other people seem like they have it together more than they actually do, though. I hope that is true for me. Anyway...

I just remember being proud of my words as a writer and speaker, I have a degree in English for heavens sake!!! Yet my mind frequently goes blank when I need to recall even the simplest thought or word, like "fork" or "slide" or my children's names. I have to call roll before I get to the name of the kid I need to yell at. I have a love and passion for grammar, I aced it in college. Yet even typing a blog article has become difficult for me and I seem unable to remember all the rules. I also seem to over use the same words because I am just unable to recall synonyms.

So I am thinking, did I waste my time and money on an education that seems to be disappearing from my cranium faster than you can say "Sesame Street"?

My Own Take

Another blogger used his kids' book titles to come up with a list of pick up lines, absolutely hilarious!!! (check it out on "Laid Off Dad" in my links). So I decided to try my hand at it by taking a look at our own kids' library, this is what I came up with:


(For those who enjoy eating at the "Y")
"If You Give a Moose a Muffin..."

(For the foreplay challenged)
"Ready or Not, Here I Come!"

(For the Viagra users)
"Dr. Seuss, Pops Up!"

(For those late night quickies)
"Once Upon a Time, The End (Asleep in 60 Seconds)"

(For the role players)
"Tickle the Duck"

(For the ladies)
"I Need a Snake"

(For our little friends)
"Bob the Builder: Can We Find It?"

(For our NOT SO little friends)
"Billy is A Big Boy!"

Finally...
(For the swingers)
"We Can Share!"

Personal Space PLEASE!!!

My kids have an issue. They are really quite behaved with me and if they crawl all over me, I am their mom I don't mind. Unfortunately, NO ONE will ever know this because as soon as they get around other people, they become leaches.

They have no concept of personal space. They also do not know a stranger. Everyone is their friend. This happens when we go out with people, when they visit our house or in public. If I talk to someone and apparently know them, they become fair game for my children affection. Let me clarify for those with their heads in the gutters, I am NOT talking about anything inappropriate by any means! (hugs, sitting in lap, sitting close, etc)

I wonder if this was my fault. Did I hold them too much? Did I allow too much affection? If so, I would have never thought in a million years that too much attention or affection toward or allowed from my children would have eventually turned into a behavior issue. Where did I go wrong?

So my question is, do people have a problem with children invading their personal space, whether they HONESTLY like kids or not? How would they prefer the parents handle it? Should I insist that my kids quit hugging or sitting close, even if the person says "no, its fine, its ok"? Any when people say this, are they just being nice or are they really ok with this? Also, do any other parents out there have this problem too?

I cannot be an unbiased judge of this because they are my kids AND I love kids and honestly do not mind children being close. I find it very sweet, charming and adorable.

Just a few thoughts and questions brought on by a visit from DC Cookie and another friend last night. Especially with females, my kids are very affectionate. What can I say, they are mommy's sweet babies!

Discipline without shouting? Spanking? Huh?

With the age of my children growing larger, so does my patience grow thinner.

After a very honest discussion with some of my sister's in 'Twindom' on Thursday night I realized, once again, that I am not the only one who has problems with trying to balance a PEACEFUL, yet EFFECTIVE, form of disciplining our multiples without shouting or even spanking. Which is why I love to go out with them, feeling apart of a group is always more satisfying than feeling alone in any situation. I always walk away feeling refreshed and empowered. Thank you ladies!!!

Anyway, I decided that I needed to do some research, AGAIN, on discipline to see if there is something more out there to help those of us who truly want a more peaceful relationship with our children. Usually I only search child care in general, but this time I found something specifically catering to the mom's of multiples out there.

It is a group of three book from the authors and experts at Twins Magazine. It is a Discipline Packet that covers topics of dealing with the difficult task of parenting multiples so they can become the glowing examples of angelic behavior that they are in our sweetest dreams!

I can't say that I can or am willing to practice all the suggestions, but I know I am always up to learning any new technique that MAY make my job as a MOM a little easier.

Here is the link if you want to check it out: http://www.twinsmagazine.com/discipline_packet.html

OMG Has it REALLY been over a month!?!?!?!?

So much of my life has changed in the last month and a half. So much on which I need to catch up.

First of all, what caused my absence? We had our anniversary cruise at the end of August. It was PERFECT!!! Then we came home and CJ, my five year old, started Kindergarten, YEAH!!!!! I must admit it is nice to have him occupied the majority of the day. Then BB, my boy twin started half day pre-school, now it is even better to have two occupied most of the day. So now it is just me and my girl, BA. Oh, what a girly girl she has become. We enjoy shopping and getting manicures and pedicures. We have a blast together. She is also taking some classes at school and at the Rec-center like gardening and ballet. Having just one all day is a lot like having none, when compared to lugging around three to run errands. So life has gotten much easier, it has just taken a little time to get used to our new schedule, hence the absence.

Here are some photos from the past month and a half. Us on our cruise, CJ's first day of school, BB's first day of school, and BA's first day of ballet. (Proud MOM here, can ya tell? hehe)

Twin Researcher, Dr. Nancy Segal

I just wanted to pass along the following information to other MOM's, especially if you have identical twins. For the past two years, my twins' club National Organization for Mom's of Twins Club (NOMOTC) Representative has worked with researchers through NOMOTC and sent us this information about Dr. Nancy Segal. Worth checking out.

"Many studies are ongoing involving multiples, and one of the leading researchers is Dr. Nancy Segal. She has a new book out titled, Indivisible by Two: Lives of Extraordinary Twins, and is doing a book tour. She is also author of Entwined Lives: Twins and what they tell us about Human Behavior. Not only is she a researcher, but also an identical twin.

For anyone interested, here's a tv/radio schedule:

*Wednesday, 8/17: Good Morning America (ABC)---segment airs at about 8:00 a.m.

*Friday, 8/19: National Public Radio, DC area (Diane Rehm Show interview with Steve Roberts) 11:00- noon

*Friday, 9/16: Oprah Winfrey Show (tentative date check local times; this show was taped last February, so will not refer to the new book)

*Thursday, 9/22 NPR (Air Talk); 11:30 - noon, Pacific time---check local times"

Hope you find this helpful!

Our Aluminum/Tin Anniversary!

HAPPY 10TH ANNIVERSARY SWEETIE!!!

Traditionally, this is the aluminum/tin anniversary. However, the Modern table states that it is the "diamond jewelry" anniversary. (I am hoping for the latter.)

Anyway, we are celebrating 10 years of marriage as of today!!!

Here is little of what the past 10 years have brought our way.


December 1994, our first Christmas. We had only been dating a few weeks, but he already told me we would be married someday. I knew he would be my husband after our first kiss, but I dared not say anything, until he said it first, of course. ; )








August 12, 1995 (just 8 months of dating and only 20 years old) we were married. A small, tasteful wedding, but very romantic. Truly the happiest day of my life, up until then.








May 30, 2000, first baby joined our family. After 5 glorious years as a duo, we were now a trio.







November 10, 2001, the twins graced us with their preemie presence. Just 17 months after the baby #1, our family grows to 5 (which is as large as it will ever be!).








September 2004, even after moving 1000 miles away (Texas to DC, a HUGE move) and making it through some pretty rough and tough times, I am more in love with this man than I ever thought, 10 years ago, I could have been. I only hope we can stick it out a few more decades. I LOVE YA HONEY-BEAR!!! Your are the best thing that ever happened to me! Thanks for, well, everything! XOXO

No luck on the job-front...UGH!!!

I took a slight break from blogging to peruse a time consuming, full-time job in itself, FINDING A JOB!!!! My frustration does not come from the job search process, my qualifications or my ability to get a job. The problem is the income. More specifically, the income I must have to make it even slightly worth going back to work. The price of child care is so incredibly high in this area (having three young children does not help either). It just does not make any sense to me AT ALL to pay someone else to take care my kids, for me to work ONLY to pay them to do so. I guess I am just a practical person like that, call me crazy!

I am not greedy or money hungry in the slightest (anyone who KNOWS me knows this is true). I just want to bring home a little extra money (after paying for child care) to help our family SURVIVE in this area that has a much higher cost of living than we are used to.

The problem came when I put it on paper and realized my income requirements were WAY higher than companies are willing to pay for my qualifications for a position. I have a BA, tons of experience and the salary the companies are offering are very reasonable for the job, it just does not fit in with my child care budget (which is more than my mortgage!).

So lets look at the child care issue. My oldest only needs after school care, one twins needs half-day care (he will be in half day special-ed) and the other twin will need full day care. So we are not even talking about three full time kids. I honestly don't know how people do it.

In addition, we do not have anyone here (like family) to help offset the cost of child care so EVERY TIME we do anything without the kids, it is costing us to do so! I am not complaining about having my kids, they are great kids! Plus, I DO gain tremendous satisfaction and joy taking care of my family! I know I am great at my job. Its just that I had the idea a few weeks ago to contribute financially to our family a little bit and have since become quite frustrated that there is NO WAY for me to do it. No one likes to feel like they have don't have options or choices for their lives. I guess its just that is how I am feeling right now.

THE PLAN FOR NOW (and suggestion to others in this predicament): To continue looking for ways to cut back where we can, searching for opportunities to earn extra money where I can and giving my ALL everyday to be the BEST MOM and WIFE I can possibly be!!!
That is really all I can do until they are in school full time, which on the bright side, is ONLY two years away. THEN, look out DC, here I come!!!

Babysitting Solutions

So you found a person willing babysit your multiples, now what do you pay her?

Here is the babysitter pay schedule we use. It is a little complicated, but it has worked for our babysitters. It is designed to keep prices down for you but give the babysitter an opportunity to increase their income as their responsibilities and trustworthiness increase. So at first you may have them baby-sit while you are home or during nap times as you get used to each other. And then they can increase their income as they take on more responsibilities or do extra chores for the children.

I HAD TO set this up on a per child/chore basis because I have three kids (5 and 3 1/2 year old twins), but my mom takes the kids home to Texas 2-3 weeks each during the summer, so sometimes I only have 2 kids. Or, you may need a babysitter to watch only one or two while you take another to an appointment. Plus, I have two that are potty trained and one in pull ups. I have one that showers and dresses himself and two that need help. So that is why I separated all the chores and pay for only what they do.

Always a minimum $6 an hour.
$2 an hour per child while they are sleeping or while you are home.
$4 an hour per child when they are awake.
OR
$5 an hour per child when they are awake if they are in diapers/pull-ups.
$1 EXTRAS (per child):
Putting a child down to sleep/nap
Preparing/serving a meal
Bathe/shower and dressing for bed

Examples:
I am running to an appt. while kids are napping. I am gone an hour. I have two kids that are asleep before the babysitter arrives and stay asleep until I come home. It should only be $4 but I pay the $6 minimum.

My husband and I go out for a date night. We are gone for three hours and three kids are home. Babysitter feeds them all, bathes/dresses two for bed and puts all three to bed. We pay $40 for our date night. (about $13 hour)

This sounds very reasonable considering that some sitters from those babysitting online searches I checked in to charged $10 an hour PER CHILD regardless of what they or the kids were doing or how long they had been babysitting for you. (That would make our 3 hour date night $90!) And I just was not interested in paying $30 for an hour to go to an appt. or grocery shopping with sleeping kids at home. But I am willing to pay more when they have to do more, OF COURSE. PLUS, you would not entrust someone who you just met to bathe your children, so that is a responsibility they earn to increase their income as they stay your babysitter longer and trust is gained.

You can lower your cost or their responsibilities in the beginning by bathing and feeding before you go out or leave later on date nights when it is closer to the kids bedtime.

Like I said it can be complicated, but it works. ALSO, you may want to call Department of Family Services to get the pamphlet on the ages a babysitter must be and the hours they can work depending on the number of children and their ages. This can be helpful in deciding on a babysitter.

Ok, long explanation but I hope this helps.

Check out my new link!

Click here or in my links for a free subscription to Preemie Magazine. Having a preemie or two or more can create so many challenges. Even more than just having multiples can bring. This magazine covers issues about pregnancies, NICU, going home with preemies, SIDS, therapy, and many more. With a free subcription, you have nothing to lose and only knowledge to gain.

I included this link because your chances of having preemies are so much greater when you are expecting multiples. I hope you find it as helpful as I have. Even though my twins are 3 and a half, I find this magazine just as helpful because we still face the challenges that are brought on by them being 2 months premature. Enjoy!

Are they Identical?

What do you think?

A fellow MOM reminded me of something today. When the twins were small, newborn babies and we were out in public, people would ask me "are they identical?" Now, I have BOY/GIRL twins. And, I confess, I usually dressed them alike when they were babies. However, it was always pink and blue outfits. This apprently still happens to new MOMs and even though mine are four years old now, it occationally happens to me. Here is how the conversation would usually go:

Stranger: Can I see your babies?
Me: Sure.

Stranger: Oh they are so cute.
Me: Thanks.

Stranger: Are they twins?
Me: Yes.

Stranger: What kind of twins are they?
Me: (Thinking: Human.) Boy/Girl.

Stranger: Are they Identical?
Me: (Thinking: All except for one major part!) Said: No, they are fraternal

Stranger: (then looking at Caleb and the triple stroller)
Boy, you sure do have your hands full!!!

I would usually walk away with a smile at this point and attempt to finish my errands.

Oh, I know they meant well and to them this was perhaps the only time they had this conversation that day or week. But for me I would hear the "hands full" phrase and have this conversation about ten times during any given trip to the mall or store. I used to say that I wanted to make and where a shirt that read:

YES, they are twins AND YES my hands ARE full!!

Rude? Yeah, I know. And I am too nice of a person to ever have done it. But now that they are older and all about the same size, people think they are triplets. It's ok now, the attention (when they are acting appropriate) can be positive for them and me. People still say, "you have your hands full", it just does not bother as much anymore.

Career Whoa's

It has been a while since I had a full time job (where I actually got paid anyway). But when I did have an 8-5, I worked, I got vacation days, sick days, holidays, etc. I worked when I had to, and when those vacation or holidays came about, I took them. I worked in a college office setting, so only during registration were there any days that I worked over my scheduled hours (we had to register everyone in line regardless of how long it took). So, about 14 working days out of the year, I would have to say "I don't know when I will be home."

So here is my question. Is it "NORMAL" to say "I don't know when I will be home" EVERY SINGLE DAY SOMEONE GOES TO WORK? I feel at some point during the day one must get an inkling as to when one will be done. But some unfortunate souls, this is NOT the case.

Furthermore, if one has a job like this, they should be so abundantly financially compensated for their ridiculous overtime hours that it made it all worth it, RIGHT? But, would any normal, sane person work like that everyday for SALARY!?!?!?!?

THEN, when holidays or vacations are looming in the near future, would this anonymous sane, normal person who works 16-17 hours a day, put in the extra time only to make up for the hours they will soon be missing? Is that REALLY a vacation if you have to make up the hours before and after you take it????

Maybe the working world has changed since I was apart of it. But I just don't think this kind of career life is normal. Your thoughts???

Down by one...

Today was the first day of three weeks I will only have two kids. My mom took BA to Texas with her for summer vacation. It has been a mix of emotions. I miss her terribly already and I know that those feelings will only get stronger the longer she is gone. Yet, it does make life much easier to only have two than three. Which only confirms my thought prior to having children that three is a lifestyle change.

My mom does this with all the kids throughout the year. She will come for a weekend, take a kid home with her for a few weeks. Then she will make another weekend trip, bring back one and take another, and so on. This is a great system for many reasons. It gives me a break by reducing my load. It increases the chances of one on one time with mommy and daddy for the remaining two. It gives the one who goes a chance to live like an only child and get spoiled by grandma and grandpa for a short period of time. And they get to know each child on their own terms. It gives all of us an opportunity to see my mom more often. For the most part, it works out for the best for all.

There is only one down side . The child who goes with my mom is nearly impossible to deal with when they return. I call it detox. I have to spend an equal amount of time to that in which they are gone, when they return, to detox them from the spoiling. They are slowly brought back into a life as a sibling rather than that of an only child. The time spent in detox increases as the children get older. CJ takes much longer than the twins. But as they get older I am sure that will change.

So I am enjoying my break for now and dealing with the heartache from missing my little princess. Yet I have the comfort of knowing she is having the time of her life. It's all good!!

His teeth are where?

Warning: This blog may not be for the queasy.

You may have noticed that BB has his front teeth in the "you don't know me shirt" picture from my first post, yet they are missing in his 3.5 picture with BA. Well, there is a story behind that, as there usually is a story when teeth go missing.

On our September trip to Texas, we stayed at my moms. One night the kids were up late and playing in her living room. All of the sudden we heard a screaming cry that sent chills down my spine. I was outside at the time so I ran in. At first I did not see anything wrong, then a gush of blood began to flow from my baby boy's mouth. It was truly terrifying. I told myself for a split second that mouth injuries bleed more and not to worry until upon further investigation, between our discussions about going to the hospital or now and crying my eyes out, we noticed that 3 of his front teeth were missing. That sealed the deal, we would be heading to the hospital NOW. My husband looked for the teeth at the site of the injury in the living room and found nothing.

So we headed for the nearest children's hospital and waited. Once inside they x-rayed his mouth and stomach looking for the teeth. No luck. They called in a pediatric oral surgeon to do a high level x-ray of his mouth to look for fractures and the teeth. That is when they found them. They had been shoved so far up into his gums they were under his nose. OUCH!!!

Now that they knew where the teeth were, within ten minutes, they put him to sleep and surgically removed the two front teeth. The third tooth we thought was missing had just been slightly pushed up and was hidden by swollen bloody gums. They left that one because it would come back down eventually, which it did I am happy to say.

With a sleepy 3 year old, we headed back to mom's house after 8 hours at the hospital. That is when we pieced together what had happened the best that we could since no adult had seen what actually took place.

The kids were running around and jumping from an antique chair toward a space between the chair and a brick fireplace hearth that is about 1.5 feet high. In an apparent over zealous jump, BB missed his footing, went forward and came down on the top of the brick hearth with his chin. His bottom lip went between his upper and lower front teeth and was cut. The upward force pushed his teeth up into his gums and under his nose. The teeth blocked the space for a few seconds that is why there was a delay is the gush of blood.

For the next few weeks, he looked like Jay Leno. The blow to his chin on the brick caused severe swelling. Not to mention the bruising. I have a photo journal of day by day progress of the bruising. From blue, to purple, to pink, to green, then finally yellow. The pictures above were taken the morning after the accident.

Gruesome, I know, but that is the story of the missing teeth.

The grass is always greener...

These are the A.R.L. Ladies, aka by me, My Girls!!!

I watch my single friends go out several nights a week in their endless attempts to find that right guy (or just hang with the girls). Either way, it is my opinion that he cannot be found in the club scene at all. OK in all fairness, perhaps one in a million find their soulmates there, but it is rare and we know it. Yet that is what keeps the rest going, the hope that the next one will be the exception. Then again, the thrill of the chase is just as exciting isn't it???

I was blessed to find my soulmate at a very young age and marry him. Since I truly love my fabulous A.R.L ladies and as the ONLY, that's right, the ONLY married one in the bunch, it is sometimes painful to watch what guys put my girls through. Admittedly, I am super jealous though. I envy their ability to miss sleep knowing there is always the weekend to catch up. My job is seven days a week. My kids demand breakfast at 8 am no matter what day it is or how late I stayed up the night before. (Kids are funny like that.) I am jealous of their freedom to flirt, have first touches, hugs, kisses, and sleep-overs (with or without "hooking-up"). And as envious as I occasionally get, would I give up my home, husband and beautiful sweet babies??? NEVER!!! Just as long as the A.R.L invite me to tag along occasionally and live vicariously through them, I am HAPPY!! I feel like I get the best of both worlds.

The funny thing is, that whether they admit it or not, and some have: They want what I have, too. They want to find their soulmate, true love, settle down, have a family, and all that jazz. If that is what they want, I truly wish them the fairy tale. I hope they find all the chemistry and passion that I was lucky enough to find. And I hope they know, they are more than welcome to live vicariously through me, as well. I am ALWAYS looking for a good babysitter and would even loan one or two of the kids out for a few hours at a time if they wanted the REAL experience! Ok, not really, but the babysitting offer always stands.

POINT: The grass is always greener on the other side. But because of the understanding and support of my hubby, I get to have the best of both worlds, every once and while. LUCKY ME!!

The Hours (the movie)

I recently watched this movie.

SIDENOTE: I know this may be yesterdays news for most of my unattached single friends, but I only get to see movies (not containing cartoon characters) only when they come out on DVD and I can watch them quietly in my home without the expense of a babysitter. You may reconsider a movie trip too if you had to add an addition $30 to your movie experience expense for childcare. Ignore me, you know the grass is always greener...

Anyway, enough ranting, I really went into this movie blindly, big mistake, or maybe not, but that is beside the point. I really only watched it because Nicole Kidman won an Oscar for it so I thought it may be good, I love dramas, and they made her look so very different, I just had to see it.

SYNOPSIS: This movie, as I got it, was about how a book that directly and indirectly affected the lives of three women in three periods of time. One woman, the author and how the book affected her as she wrote it in the 20's. A longing housewife and how it affected her in the 50's. And finally a modern day woman was indirectly affected by it because of her relationship with the son of the woman from the 50's. I think that was it. It had fairly consistent homosexual overtones throughout that sometimes caught me off guard. Yet they worked with the feel of mystery this movie seemed to revolve around.

MY REVIEW: The things I loved were the drama, the acting, and the relationship the characters that seemed so possible. Let me explain that last one. The relationships were dysfunctional in most cases and the story helped confirm my thoughts that this sort of dysfunction happens regularly with people around us (which I can identify with) without our knowledge. For the most part, these women had very successful lives in spite of their dysfunctional relationships and in most cases did a pretty good job of hiding it and continued being successful. I have a lot of respect for women who overcome adversity and problems to come out the other side with some grace and success making it look like the difficulties did not exist. This movie had three women like that. Loved that part.

However, I was not so crazy about the ambiguity and lack of explanation of some characters actual relationships. For instance, who was Nessa? Was it her sister or a close friend? I thought it was her sister until the goodbye kiss. This made the kiss much more shocking for me. Maybe that was the point. But incestuous and homosexual? That would be too much for any woman and only confirm her madness. Perhaps that was the point. And who where the three kids Nessa had with her? If they were her children, why did they not call her mom, but Nessa instead? I can assume they were, but it was not clear. Was the Julia a product of artificial insemination? Or a product of Clarissa's relationship with Richard? Was Richard and Clarissa once straight and then gay? Were they married or just a one night stand?

These are just a few. Too many unanswered questions for me. Too much is not clear. Maybe I have become simple in the past few years. Jaded from all the clear cut kid movies I have had to endure. Or maybe others felt the same about this one. Let me know.

Even though I would not give the story a great review. I still think this movie is worth your time because of the acting, strong emotional relationships and strong female characters. Or...If for no other reason than to try to find Nicole Kidman behind that make-up.

MY twin story Part 3: Life since the twins!

This is the most recent of the twins at 3.5 years.

BA spent the next 19 days in the NICU. She was gaining weight, eating good, and had very little problems. They probably only kept her there that long to keep her with her brother. She spent a little time on CPAP, but for the most part, made improvements everyday.

BB, well he was another story entirely. It was like two steps forward and one step back with him. He spent the majority of his time there on CPAP once they removed his breathing tube. His umbilical cord lines that intravenously gave him medication and fluids, wore out and he have to have a surgical procedure where they insert a mainline into an artery in his neck. He still has the scars from that. He got a rotovirus and that set him back in his bottle feedings and breathing. He had the worst case of the two of jaundice and had to spend several days in the light chamber. The doctors botched his first circumcision so much so that he lost enough blood that he had to have a blood transfusion and a second circumcision. He was always hooked up to monitor and wires and alarms that went off constantly because his breathing and heart rate would slow when he was sleeping. It was not a good time for him or us.

I spent everyday up there, including Thanksgiving where my husband and I had our Thanksgiving dinner that year in the hospital cafeteria by ourselves. I did not see CJ for those three weeks. He lived with my mom. I did not see much of anyone for those three weeks except for the nurse in the NICU. I pumped breast milk constantly so the twins could get that much even though they had to take it in through a tube in their nose. I tried to get them to breast feed, but they were just too small.

I think the doctors realized that they could not keep BA any longer just for BB's sake, so they sent her home with the promise that BB could go home the next day. I can't describe the pain of leaving a baby behind in the hospital. To say it was bittersweet would be an understatement. So, the next day we show up with baby carrier in hand ready to take him home. No luck, he had been having spells of lowered heartrates and oxygen saturation. Once again, we turned our backs to our son and left that hospital without our baby. It was unlike any pain in my heart and soul that I have never felt before or since. I called the next day and explained to the doctors that I could NOT leave that hospital again without my son and asked them to please be certain that we could take him home before I made the trek back. They were sure, so we did, and he finally got to come home. Our complete family in our new home, it was a relief, for a moment.

They came home on heart rate monitors, which they sported for the next 3 months. They had medications for reflux and heart rate drops. They had doctors appointments and weigh-ins every week and RSV shots every other. I could only sleep in 2 hour increments due to the pumping and feeding. So I was a walking zombie. The sleep deprivation was the worst. I thought I would go insane, actually I believe I was for a few months. I remember at one point thinking, "if I killed myself, then I could rest for longer than two hours." It was only the sleep deprivation talking. I never felt that way before or since.

CJ was did not always make things easier. His jealousy grew everyday. He would bite their fingers and do other things to make them cry. He actually still does this today, only difference is that they can fight back now. However, having my mom four miles down the road and friends around did make things MUCH easier. I really miss that now.

The twins slept in a crib next to us for the first two months. Then they slept in the same crib in a room across the house, with baby monitor close by at all times. They did this until they were six months old. They would kick, move and wake each other up so we put them in cribs that were side by side. I would often find them with their hands through the bars touching when they were asleep. And when they could pull up, I would find them standing face to face or hugging over the bars. TOO SWEET!! There are many moments that make it all worth it, these were just a couple of those moments. They stayed in the same room until they were 18 months old. Then I separated them into their own rooms. CJ always had his own room across the hall.

They had reflux from the day I brought them home. That is when a child has projectile vomiting after they eat. Not spitting up, but projecting. I was sleep deprived because I was working very hard to pump this all important milk and feed it to them, only to hear it hit the floor behind me as soon as they were finished eating as I burped them. It was SO frustrating to say the least. They were growing and thriving though. The doctors assured me it was just a "laundry issue" and they would grow out of it by the time they were one. A WHOLE YEAR OF THIS, ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! JUST A LAUNDRY ISSUE, WHAT?!?!?!?

Of course, he was right. They would puke (as I would affectionately call it), I would have to change their clothes, my clothes and clean up the furniture and/or carpet where it landed. Bibs were my friends and I had a ton of them. Not the little spit bibs, no, but the full body armor ones. The puking was not soooooo bad when it was milk they were projecting, but when they began to eat peas, carrots, applesauce, etc., that was when it really became an issue. Now my beige carpet was polka dotted with a rainbow of colors. During months 1-3, it happened every meal and even in between. During months 3-6, about 4 times a day each. During month's 6-9, about once a day each. And during months 9-12, it had tapered off to about every other day, then it ended. HALLEUJAH!!!! When we were certain it was over, we pulled up the carpet and put down pergo.

It was not long after we got them settled into their own rooms and got some other home remodeling done that DS, my husband came to me with some news. He had been traveling for a while and being a single parent was hard on me and the kids. He said he had been offered a job in DC. First response, "I will NEVER leave TEXAS!!!" He said it would mean a chance for fast advancement in an office where he was liked and with people for whom he actually enjoyed their company. His current office sucked-ass! He had actually been fired by one boss and then re-hired by another two weeks later at one point. It was not a good environment, hence the desire to travel. His new boss in the DC office was great and wanted me to come check it out. Long story short: I did, decided I could tolerate it especially if it meant having my husband home at night (ha ha!), and on the twins 2nd birthday, we were moving into our new, MUCH older, MUCH smaller house in Alexandria, VA.

So here we are, almost two years and counting. We plan to go home someday, but make the best of what we have while we are here. Aside from being so far from our family and support system, this is a GREAT place to raise kids. We are never without something to do with them. That part of living here is great. So are our new friends, DS's co-workers, the ARL, and FCMOM friends. We could not have made it if not for all of them! Thanks, you know who you are...wink, wink! ; )

MY twin story Part 2: Labor and Delivery

Other than getting bigger and having to go to more ob (ostetrician) visits than before, the pregnancy went on without event, physically anyway. We decided to move closer to my mom, so we found a house being build four miles away from her in Red Oak, Texas. We put our house on the market in Fort Worth and it sold in four days. So homeless, we moved in with my mom and step-dad. We lived there for about 8 weeks until our house was built. Then we moved again into it. I, of course, could not help with the moves at all so it was pretty easy for me. The difficult part was living with my mom again after 6 years. I love her with all my heart and soul and she is my best friend and mentor, but we are not meant to live together anymore.

Emotionally, was a different story. I was not happy about having three children, neither was my husband. But he handled it much better. This may not sound like a bad thing for some, but for a strong, control-freak like myself who makes a plan for my life and it gets destroyed by events beyond my control, that sense of helplessness I feel is very difficult for me to handle. And this was not just a temporary change of plans, this one would change the rest of my life! This was not what we wanted. But we bought the bigger house and mini-van and prepared as best we could.

I was still getting settled in our new home and a putting things in their place slowly at the new house. I was pretty big by this point (33 weeks). Plus, keeping up with a 17 month old and moving had wore me out. Just to give you an idea of my size, when I sat down, my tummy covered my legs so that all I could see were the very edges of my knees. Yet, I had only gained 18 lbs. The twins were getting big and taking every calorie I consumed. So all the weight I gained was from them and the other pregnancy stuff (fluid, placenta, etc.)

I had some things on my list to get done before the babies arrived. I had all of them checked off except for buying their baby books. One morning, I woke up with more energy than usual so I decided this would be the day to buy the all important items. I packed up CJ, we went to Hallmark and picked the perfect baby books. I brought them home and put them away until their arrivals. I sat down at the computer to check my email. I stood up and liquid ran down my legs. "Did I just pee myself?" This was not a far fetched notion since BB (baby B) had been kicking my bladder for a while. Usually just causing a small leak, but this was a lot. I would eventually learn, it was BA (baby A). She had decided this would be their birthday. She was wrong. Because I was in labor 27 hours, their birthday would not be until the next day (November 10, 2001). My uncles birthday is on the 11th, I tried to hold out but I just couldn't do it for another 3 hours. Sorry Unc!

I know 27 hours sounds like a long time, but it was not bad at all. Other mothers of twins had tried to tell me this. I did not believe them either until I experienced it for myself. You see, the pain from labor comes from contractions. Contractions are the stomach muscles "contracting" and pushing down on the baby to get it out of the womb. When you only have one baby, the muscles have to push much farther to reach the baby to push it out. When you have more than one baby, your muscles do not have to push as far to reach resistance and push the babies out. Which means less pain.

The babies at this point were both head down (ideal position) which meant that the doctor WOULD allow me to attempt a natural birth! FINALLY! Something in my plan was going to go right! The doctor kept me at 10 cm (the place you want to be to push the babies out) for an hour to ensure an easier delivery. This doctor really made me happy with his next move. Our plan was that IF I HAD to have a c-section (surgery to remove babies) they could go ahead and tie my tubes. But I had to sign a release for this to happen. Then he said it:

"You don't need to sign anything, we are going to have these babies naturally and we are NOT going to have a c-section."

I could actually see the halo above his head and hear the "hallelujah" music in the background. He was on the same wave-length as me. He would help me have the birth I wanted, with precautions, of course. He insisted on inserting the tube in my back that delivers the drug to numb me, JUST IN CASE. And we would deliver in an operating room, JUST IN CASE. I could live with that.

I then began to feel BA pressing on my cervix. I knew she was about to make her debut. They finally wheeled me into the operating room and got ready. It was so crowded in there with nurses for me and the babies, doctors, anesthesiologists (just in case), students and my husband. They were being very cautious because, keep in mind, the babies ARE 7 weeks early. He asked me to put my legs in the stirrups, I asked if he was ready to catch BA because she was right there, he said just a minute. When he was ready I got in position and one small push later, BA was born. She was pink and whimpering, GOOD SIGN!!! They whisked her away before I could really see her though. But once they got her in the next room, they took a Polaroid of her and my husband brought it back to I could see my baby girl, who had caused this early delivery. All 4 lbs., 9 oz. of her. That was a great weight for a 33 week preemie. Now on to BB.

Since his wombmate had left, he felt the need to stretch out even more. I say that because during the whole pregnancy, I called him the Alpha Twin. His head was in my ribs and his feet were at my bladder and poor BA had to remain curled up in a ball at my lower left side. Now, with her gone, he flipped, NOT GOOD! To most doctors, this would have meant an instant c-section. But not to my "angel". He said that this one WOULD be born breech (feet first)!

The doctor proceeded to slip his arm inside my womb with a sonogram outside to see what he was doing inside. On the screen I could see his hand. He was making "hook 'em horn" signs inside my tummy (the hand sign for Univ. of Tx.). Some college football game was going on and he was excited to get back to it after my delivery. It was weird. Anyway, he pricked BB's sac of waters and it began to trickle out. Once that was done, he proceed with his arm inside of me again, UP TO HIS ELBOW to grab BB's feet and pull him out. He was bigger than BA so this was not an easy task. Collaboratively, for nearly 30 minutes, we worked to get his feet out, then his torso, then his head.

OHHH, MY, GOD!!! That gargantuan, gigantic head!!! It was much like shitting a telephone pole!!! But, I got my wish. I got to experience the PAIN of childbirth. Then I got scared. I looked down at my baby boy. He was grey. He was not crying. His legs were purple from his feet to his knees from the pulling. They whisked him away, too. I was terrified. He never cried. But, I still had work to do delivering the placenta which was bigger than BB. As they worked on me, my husband came back with a picture of BB. Much different than BA. He had a tube in his mouth with a green bag on the end. They were breathing for him. They had brought him to life. He weighed 5 lbs. 4 oz. it would be 3 days before he would breath on his own and CRY for the FIRST time.

Continued in later post.

MY twin story Part 1: Conception and News

This is CJ's most recent pic at 5 years old.
My motives behind this blog, as a said before, are because one of my favorite subjects to discuss are twins, mainly mine. So, I thought this would be a perfect forum to share my twin story with those who do not know it. The real truth behind the chaos that is now my family. What follows is a frank and honest account of how our family arrived to be who we are today.

After having our first child, CJ in May of 2000, my husband thought we might be done. I was on the fence on the subject. CJ was a very planned child. We decided on my 25th birthday to start trying to get pregnant, three days later we had done it. We decided that would be a good time because IF we were successful on the first try, then he would be born just after I was due to graduate college the following May. We did not think it would happen on the first try. I am a very regular female, menstrually speaking, and so I knew when my days (ovulation) to conceive were. That just happened to fall three days after our decision and "wa-la" it was done. The only thing we did not count on was the fact that I would be on bed rest and miss the last 6 weeks of my senior year, thus pushing my graduation from college to December of 2000, 7 months after CJ was born.

When CJ was about 10 months old, I convinced my husband that because there was so much medical intervention in CJ's birth, that I wanted to try for one more. I did not want this one to be as planned and I wanted to use a mid-wife instead of a doctor and deliver this one naturally without drugs or inductions in a birthing center. We thought that lightening could not strike twice in that we would not get pregnant within days of our decision again. I wanted to just not use protection, take it as it comes and if it were God's will to give us another child then it would happen. I planned to quit keeping up with my cycle and just let things happen naturally. But the next particular ovulation day, was one I could not forget. I was at work, doubled over in pain that day. It was one of the worst ever. Because of that, I now believe that dropping more than one egg is much more painful than dropping one for me. Anyway, I missed my period within 3 weeks of our decision to let things happen naturally and we were pregnant again.

I was getting bigger much quicker than before with this one. I had heard that happened with the second one though so I blew it off and proceeded to pull out my maternity clothes box at 8 weeks. Most women expecting singletons usually do this at 14 weeks, give or take a few. I went to an appointment with my mid-wife at 13 weeks for a check up. My mom and CJ tagged along. Because it was just a check-up, my husband went on to work. My mid-wife was concerned because she noticed I was bigger yet I had lost 10 pounds. She thought I might have a condition in which there is too much amniotic fluid. So, she ordered an internal sonogram just to check things out.

I got undressed, went into the dark, cold sonogram room and laid down. My mom and Caleb by my side, the sonographer came in and got to work. I was excited to see my baby for the first time. I was explaining to my mom, "see this, this is the baby's head." Then she said it, the words that still make me teary eyed to this day, "Yes, that's the head of baby A and this the head of baby B!"

NO, NO, no, no, no, NO, NO, NOOOOOOO!!! NOT TWO MORE KIDS!!! I began to cry. So did my mom and the sonographer. It was the first time she had delivered the news to someone and she had done so unexpectedly. She thought I already knew I was having twins. "We have to call [your husband]," mom said. I could not speak at the time and motioned for her to do it. He did not believe her so I got on the phone to confirm it. As soon I could get off the phone and out of the room, I did. I went into the bathroom to get dressed. I instead collapsed on the floor, held my clothes to my face, and in fetal position I begin to scream and cry. It was one of those deep, primal, hiccuping type cries. The nurse knocked and asked if I was ok. I said I was and pulled myself together. My outburst would have to be put on hold until I got home.

Mom was hungry, so went to eat. She immediately got on the phone and began to share the "good" news with everyone in her cell phone directory. Down the list, reliving the event, over and over again. Finally home, I put CJ down for a nap and let go of my emotions on my bed. I thought as I cried, "this was not the plan we had for our lives." Three kids meant a bigger house, a bigger car and a bigger budget, none of which we were prepared for. We would have been happy with one, discussed two, but God obviously had other plans for us.

Not to mention, now that twins were on the way and because of my weight, my mid wife would not see me anymore and referred me to an OB. I thought that would be the end of my plan to have a natural birth. No bed or birthing center, just a cold operating room and too much medical intervention again.

Believe me, I know this sounds ridiculous and selfish to be upset at the new of twins, afterall, so many women would (and do) give years of their lives and thousands of dollars to be in my shoes. I know this. That was a huge part of the pain I was feeling. The guilt was overwhelming. Why was it that those, who would probably be better parents anyway, not be able to conceive and yet we just discuss trying again and end up with twins?!?! It seemed so unfair and even though I knew I had no control over this, I still felt so guilty it hurt me to my core.

Because I knew how ridiculous it was, I would become fairly good at hiding my pain over the course of the next few months. I kept busy, and that helped. Keeping busy was not a difficult task to accomplish with a one year old boy, either.

Continued in Part II

My Links

This is me and my baby daddy.

I wanted to give some background on the links I have added to my blog.

Fairfax County Mother's of Multiples (FCMOM) is the twins club where I am a member and co-second Vice President. I greet new and potential members by phone or email and receive their applications.

National organization of Mother's of Twins Club (NOMOTC) is the same as FCMOM except on the national level. I am a member of this club as well.

Twins Magazine is just that, a magazine the has ads, articles and research on issues dealing with twins and multiples. Very informative!

The dc cookie's blog link takes you to my BFF's fun blog.

The kathrynon's blog link takes you to a friend's blog who is quite a witty and entertaining writer.

Think you're due for twins?

These are the twins when they were almost 3 years old at a wedding.

As the "self-appointed minister of how twins are caused", and because I care, please allow me to set the record straight on when someone might be "due" for twins/multiples.

I don't get mad or upset when I hear people proclaim myths like the following three, I just want to let the world know they are myths:

-'Cause twins skip a generation, I am due for having twins in my family.

-My dad (or someone on dad's side of the family) is a twin, so I will probably have twins.

-I have three sets of identical twins in my family history, so I will likely have twins, too.

My goal is to spread the word to those who do not realize that when they say things like this, they are perpetuating the myths about twins. I intend no harm, in fact quite the opposite. Those who believe these myths are putting themselves through unnecessary worry and concern about having twins. Or unnecessary excitement at the prospects of having twins (which is a whole other blog post in itself). I am simply attempting to put an end to the heartache they are causing themselves with worrying.

So without further ado, here are the facts:

-Twin pregnancies do NOT skip generations. It is simply a matter of odds that may make it appear that way.

-Fraternal twin pregnancies are caused by two eggs being fertilized by two sperm forming two embryos. They are no more than siblings being born at the same time OR "wombmates." The genetically caused occurrence of a woman releasing two eggs at once to produce fraternal twins can ONLY be passed from mother to daughter(a woman's age or chance can also be factors, but these are not genetic causes). Men have no effect in fraternal twins, except maybe over-zealous super-swimmers that find both eggs and fertilize them. Therefore, genetically speaking, fraternal twins cannot come from the father's side of the family, only the mother's side.

-As I stated above, aside from genetically passed-on conditions from mother to daughter, AGE is also a common cause for fraternal twins. Women are born with all the eggs they will have in their lives. As they age, so do their eggs. This signals the body to release more eggs as a woman faces menopause to get rid of all those she has not used yet. A woman's chances of multiples are much greater after the age of 35. AND, because we are living healthier these days, women's' eggs are healthier, too, which makes the occurrence of viable conception over age 35 much more common. This reason alone, could be why we are seeing more twins lately.

-Without genetic history of twins, without age factors, a woman's body just simply decide to release more than one egg during a cycle. No reason, just CHANCE can cause a woman to have multiples and it can happen to anyone at any age.

-Identical twins are NOT genetically passed through a family. Just because someone has a set of identical twins in your family history, does not mean that you have any greater chance of having identical or fraternal twins than anyone else. Here is why, identical twins/multiples are, quite frankly, freaks of nature and completely random. No offense, REALLY. They just occur when one egg, fertilized by one sperm, splits on a certain day in a certain way early in the pregnancy and becomes two embryos. It's that simple! Genetics cannot possibly signal an egg to split on a certain day, in a certain way, it just happens. Furthermore, if the eggs splits during a certain HOUR of pregnancy in a certain way, that is how conjoined twins occur, hence their rare occurrence. Proof of identical multiples randomness is shown because their occurrences have remained about the same since studies on twins/multiples began.

So their it is. The truth about twins as I have committed it to memory from my extensive reading of books and articles on multiples, research through conversations with my twins club sisters, and doctors visits during my own twin pregnancy. To the best of my knowledge, these are the facts in laymans terms (because that is the only way I could remember them) on the cause of twins. There may be more in depth reasons, explanations and causes for multiples in more scientific terms, but this it how I know to word it so all can help my cause of dispelling the myths about twins/multiples occurrences.

What is 2@1ce?

(These are my sweet babies. CJ in the middle, BB or baby B on the left and BA or baby A on the right. This is how I will refer to them in my blog. Their real names are much more creative!)


First blog post! Yeah!

2@1ce refers to having 2 children at once. That's right folks, I am talking about twins! Twins are one of my favorite subjects to discuss (especially my twins), hence the reason for this blog. I have twins, plus a singleton that is just 17 months older. I was blessed with a boy, CJ, in 2000, then boy/girl twins, BB and BA, in 2001. This particular family dynamic makes for some very interesting, serious and hilarious stories, as you will find out.

So that is 2@1ce, a blog to gain insight and information about twins from my experiences and issues created from living in this crazy land of "twindom." With some discussions on topics from a MOM's (mother of multiples) point of view thrown in for good measure!